a girl at my job who is apparently gay was talking about past girlfriends
and she stops all the sudden and looks at me and goes
"you’re like not uncomfortable are you?"
and i’m like haha nah bruh
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
I HEARD A DOG BARK TODAY AND I BARKED BACK AND IT REPLIED THE EXACT SAME WAY AND WE WENT BACK AND FORTH UNTIL MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS JUST MY VOICE ECHOING AND I HAD BEEN BARKIG BY MYSELF FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT
BUT WHO BARKED THE FIRST TIME
back to school commercials
back to school commercials after graduation